Helter-skelter
by wildkurofang
Summary: When work screws him over, Fujimoto Shirou doesn't let it get him down. He is the Paladin dammit! No, he takes it to the highest of authorities... His lover. ShirouxMephisto Yaoi
1. Hard at Work, Hardly Working

**Yeah, yeah, I know I should be working on Phoenix Rising or Resonance...  
**

**But I needed to do this. I _had_ to. With a burning.  
**

**Anyway, blame** **SuperiorDimwit. I can't live without this pairing now. Not that it is my OTP...but I've grown to love these two idiots.  
**

**So without further ado~  
**

**Warnings: Read the label kiddes, Rated M, what for? ShirouxMephisto lemon, BDSM, Rimming, gahh, If I remember what else I'll add it.  
**

**Helter-skelter**

* * *

It started out innocently enough.

A cup of tea, a bag of sweets, and the lovely view of Usagi Fighter VI on the big screen T.V. in my room was splendid enough for me.

The weather outside had been horrid for most of the week and it wasn't showing any signs of letting up. Hearing the rain lash and pound my mansion from the outside through meter-thick concrete and sound-proofed walls was a sure indication of the tempest that was brewing in the heavens.

Whether it was just ill-fate or Egyn was up to mischief again with Assiah's climate remained unknown to me and I scarcely cared anyhow. I had all the games I wanted to play, heated air enough to keep me all toasty, and confections enough that I could eat for the next decade stocked up inside my home. I need not have bothered myself with any of the happenings of the outside world.

After all, the only thing I had to do for work during this lousy, semi-fall, semi-winter weather was sign papers and hand-out slips detailing Exorcism missions to the unlucky few that hadn't been fortunate enough to use their vacation time this month. That was all I was preoccupied with during this October the 26 of 1991.

Until my bedroom door crashed open and a barbarian barged in dripping rainwater all over my carpet with leaves in his hair and mud on his shoes.

My mouth widened in horror when I was forced to watch my expensive stone marble floors be desecrated by the dirty, diseased, unclean filth that pervaded out in the -6 Celsius zone known as the Great Outdoors.

_No..._ The soft clatter of my pink controller falling out of my hand and onto the floor was left unnoticed to the both of us.

The ash-haired and spectacled man stopped at my nest of bean-bags and large, fluffy pillows on the floor with his hands crossed over his chest. The dangerous glint in his eyes was accentuated by his short hair plastered to his face and the glare across his glasses.

The only thing that detracted from his impressive presence was the fact he was as wet as a dog. The shivers racking his body that he couldn't control were as intense as the rage of hurricane-force winds; which left him looking like a wind-battered leaf.

Nether-the-less, I found myself paralyzed not by his expression but by the proximity of such unsanitary conditions invading not only my house but my most sacred of places: my bubble of cleanliness and of course, my bedroom. _How dare he..._

With my emerald eyes slittled in disgust, I locked them with the ruby-red of the males' standing right above me, and snapped, "I hope you have a good excuse for this; otherwise I am turning you into chum for Amaimon's Behemoth."

The stormy expression on the others visage told me he didn't find the situation the least bit funny. His pale, pink cheeks turned tomato red in rage and he shook more violently then before.

Seeing how I was willing to allow Shirou to dig himself deeper into his grave before I settled this, I waited for him to speak. _Knowing him, he probably tracked dirt into my house on purpose. This means war, dear Shirou, _war_._

At last he answered with chattering teeth, "...Chum? CHUM?! Mephisto..." Fury in his eyes, the strongest Paladin in the entire history of the Order of the True Cross then promptly dug out several sheets of wet paper and dumped the lot on top of me.

Eyes narrowed in annoyance, I growled, "What is the meaning of this?" My black nails pierced one of the pieces of paper that had become sodden with water within his jacket and I set it on fire in order to get rid of the foul thing.

The orange flames devoured it sluggishly and the ashes disappeared before they hit the ground.

The drenched man grinned viciously passed his grey scarf and stated while hefting his shot-gun higher on his left shoulder, "Those, Mephisto, are all the files and reports I've accumulated over this month."

I merely sighed, anger evaporating once I realized where this was going. "And pray tell, why did you throw them on top of me?"

Eye twitching, he poked me in the forehead with one of his dirty, cold fingers. "Because, if you were to look through all of those little, _insignificant_ pieces of paper you would find that all of the thirty-two mission statements have _one_ thing in common."

I rubbed at the spot he had touched hoping he didn't leave any germs on my skin before replying nonchalantly, "And that is?"

A smirk a shark would be proud of appeared on his lips and he leaned down close enough for me to smell the brand of cigarettes he had smoked today on his breath. "What is it? Oh, nothing. Nothing really, just THE FACT THEY COULD HAVE ALL BEEN DONE BY AN EXWIRE! Do you have any _idea_ how _pointless_ it is to send me on a mission to exterminate _Coal Tar?!_ Or clean out a nest of Hobgoblins?! I, the Paladin, for the love of- Gahh! Give me one more mission like that and I'll have your _head_, you clown!"

He was jumping and flailing around like an enraged jackrabbit in fury with several veins bulging on his head the entire time he lectured me.

I would have found it funny though, if he hadn't just busted my eardrums.

I massaged my sensitive ears and pouted while I scolded, "And? That doesn't mean you have the right to yell in my ear. Or come stomping in like _Godzilla_ or drip water on my floor or walk around in your MUDDY boots, tracking disgusting things all over my house! You _KNOW_ I hate—no, detest—dirty things. And your uniform has blood on IT. _Go change._ You are filthy." I waved my hand in the air "shooing" him away like one would to a flea-ridden dog.

Blinking, Shirou stood straight again. There was a long pause and then shoulders sagging, he ruffled the back of his wet hair sheepishly. "Oh... Um-yeah... I didn't really get a chance to change. Got a little side-tract when I nearly went over the railing near the bridge during my way back. The wind was a bit strong. Sorry about that."

It was my turn to be surprised, caught off guard by his apology and I asked incredulously, "Really?"

Shirou nodded with a grin but it then turned sardonic and he tugged my curl harshly, "NO!

It was yanked till I kicked him in the side of his leg and slapped his hand away, weeping anime tears while holding onto my injured head. "Don't PULL that!"

Shirou himself was hopping on one foot while holding his calf in the other, a furious look on his face. "Ass! I got bit by a hobgoblin right there a few days ago!"

Tongue sticking out, I blew a raspberry in his direction. It had been the only way he would of let go so I took all the drastic measures I could. It really hurt when my curl was pulled. Almost as bad as my tail, in fact. And he knew that. And yet he keeps pulling it.

Only Shirou was safe from the certain death that would follow that action. _He really should not be complaining. He is lucky I find him humorous most of the time or I would have turned him to dust a long ago._

This didn't mean I wasn't going to take my revenge though.

With a snap of my fingers, a plain, white door appeared out of a cloud of pink smoke and swung open right behind him.

Once Shirou stood steady again, he peered at the door then glared at me and opened his mouth to retort, "Don't you dare-"

I threw a box of tissues at his face exclaiming, "Here, you are leaking all over the place!"

It bounced off his head sending him reeling back straight through the door frame.

Before the door itself slammed closed I finished, "And don't come back till you are clean again!"

Satisfied, I snapped my fingers and the bathroom door disappeared. Snapping them again the mess that had been made by Shirou's barging in was cleaned up and his papers sent to the incinerator. I already had copies and it wasn't like he wanted them anyway.

That is what I told myself at least and snickering at what I knew was going to be a very pissed off Exorcist later, I thought no more about it.

Relaxing back into my big, lavender bean-bag I fixed my pale-pink yukata and turned back to my game.

"NO!" I gaped at the screen seeing how my player had a little less than 10% health left. I had forgotten to pause the game! Scrambling to save my character, I mashed buttons cursing, "Damn you Shirou, damn you!"

[Shirou]

I wiped the towel down my front, swabbing up the last few drops of water dripping down my torso and dried my hair with it, swinging it around my neck when I was done. I grumbled to myself, "Go take a wash he says, lying on his comfy pillows while I had to tromp around outside doing what?! Kiddy work! Out there! In the rain and sleet! He's not the one who almost had his balls frozen off..."

After I put my glasses on I jerked another pair of dry, warm, black slacks on without buttoning it up with one of my favorite leather, brown belt hanging out of its belt loops while mumbling to myself about how obtuse the Demon King in the other room could be.

I shuffled a bit uncomfortable in my pants since I was half-hard from imaging how I was going to wipe that snide smirk off his face and replace it with a blushing, begging whimper.

Forgoing underwear and a shirt, I wiped the fog from the large mirror in the bathroom I was in and taking in my appearance, stroked my growing stubble on my cheeks with a look of dismay. _Man, I need a shave..._

Sighing, I reached for the razor and aftershave that Mephisto usually left out for me but decided against it at the last second, grinning wide with an idea. _The old son of a bitch hates it when I don't shave._

In a twisted parody of a devil's smirk, I dropped the towel I had around my neck onto the white marble counter and walked to the door, barefoot, bare-chested and just itching to return the favor—I had to do something that indicated my displeasure; the old goat wasn't going to get away with this one.

I made sure to swipe my clunky, old phone and the dry tie from my change of clothes while I left.

Opening the door with a quiet swing of its well-oiled hinges, I leisurely proceeded into Mephisto's room with my hands in my pockets, unsurprised by the fact I had just reappeared out of his door leading into the hallway instead of the one he had shoved me through earlier.

Stalking forward, I noticed the extravagance of his bedroom that was littered with enough merchandise to set up a small toy store. The pink, purple, and white motif for the room accentuated that image.

I snickered when I caught my overly annoying, but cute, lover ranting out loud at his T.V screen. I would have once said that he hadn't even realized that I had entered the room.

But he always did know and he knew I knew that and I knew that he knew that I knew so it was just for appearances sake that he never turned around instead choosing to focus on his game.

Walking closer, I stopped right behind him and shook my head in disbelief. The most feared demon in all of Gehenna—besides his father—the eldest son of Satan and the most powerful Demon King, Samael, was losing at an arcade videogame...and was throwing a tantrum about it.

_Che, and he doesn't even bother to notice me while he is at it..._ I rolled my eyes at that wondering if it was a good or bad thing that he didn't think of me as a threat while I watched the otaku/Xenophile curse and trash talk the game on the screen in front of him.

"Why you-! Oh no, you don't! How dare you, you spawn of a-"

I cleared my throat before he finished that sentence and taking my hands out of my pockets, rolled his curl around my index finger, gently tugging it. "Oh yes, because yelling at a game console and its pixilated minions will make your crappy gaming skills increase ten-fold, my friend."

My teasing—and pulling—snapped Mephisto out of his rage and he squeaked, taking a second to hit pause before he tilted his head back to glare at me. "Hey! My skills are not so crude! And I thought I told you not to pull that!"

His sweet, panicked, pink face made me chuckle sardonically. It wasn't often my only favorite demon was caught unawares. Even rarer were the moments he let his guard down and acted like a true child. Like he was right at the moment.

A serious Mephisto was scary. But every time he pulled a face like he currently was I couldn't help but think that maybe there was just a little bit of naïve humanity in the old demon.

Noticing the blush extending onto his neck down past the yukata neckline, I let my eyes wander further. He was enticing, especially when he pouted so adorably, eyes narrowed in annoyance.

I couldn't resist needling him a bit more. "And since when have I listened to you? Have you not realized yet, that just because you tell me to do something that doesn't mean that I am going to do it? Besides, I know you like it when I misbehave." I waggled my eyebrows at him. "After all, what is it you say? "A good Catholic priest would never act this way?" We both know that am hardly devout. I am tolerable at best."

In response he only huffed, snorting under his breath, "I concur, but deviant and devout are two different things and "tolerable" just does not do you justice."

Ignoring his reply I finished, "Your pride just won't let you admit that you enjoy being dominated." I pulled the captured curl a little more then let go, crouching down so we were both at eye-level.

I ignored his indignant spluttering and wrapping my right arm around his neck, I pulled his yukata collar till it slid down his right shoulder exposing his thin collarbone.

The only barrier separating me from taking it all off were the colorful pillows and bean-bags he was laying on hindering said progress.

Mephisto puffed out his cheeks while shrugging off my arm and fixed his robe, countering, "Please, don't make me laugh. Amaimon can and has made sounder arguments then that; not to mention he is far better behaved then _you_."

Snickering at the way he turned and flipped his hair like a woman, I wrapped the shorter lock of his silky, amethyst hair that framed his face around my fingers. Leaning in to peck his skin right below his pointed ear I chuckled, "Brave words. I would be wounded; if I cared."

A single yank on his hair and we were lip-locked. Cradling his head in my hand I wrapped my other around his waist, pressing him closer to me. But not close enough for my liking.

He tasted sweet, creamy, and minty, like the peppermint bark he had been snacking on before I showed up, harassing the century's old demon for his part in assigning me crappy missions.

When I chewed on his upper lip, Mephisto moaned, opening his mouth for me—despite his protests to the contrary. His hands clenched my shoulders, kneading the flesh there while he hummed in approval.

Twisting my wet tongue around his, my hands found his ass and I squeezed it tightly through the thin fabric. Our tongues battled until I captured his and sucked on it.

He moaned, hands sliding into my hair. "Shi-Shiro~u..."

Breaking for air, I noticed his red cheeks and the bright look in his emerald eyes as well as the single strand of salvia that connected us. A swell of lust and pride at the sight made me smirk and I rubbed his cheek tenderly with the pads of my fingers. "Hmm, I think I am still a bit..._chilly_. You know, from being outside in all. Why don't you do something about that?"

It surprised me when he suddenly went from being submissive to sneering, pulling away while crossing his arms. "That is hardly MY problem. Want to warm yourself? Go drink a cup of coffee or something. I don't want to catch your germs. Kissing you is icky enough."

The mood evaporated like only he could manage.

I crouched there shot down for a few seconds until I saw red and pouting, I tightened my grip on his firm rear end while I nipped his neck, grousing, "Oi, don't play that uninterested card! It's been what? Almost two weeks? Your libido must be _screaming_ by now. And if you were really worried about germs you wouldn't have let me step a foot inside of your bedroom. Not without sic'ing that trashcan on me."

He huffed, refuting, "Please, you are obviously exaggerating. And I have more control than that. I am not an animal. Unlike _you_, who are most definitely-"

I pressed one of my hands into the small of his back right above his ass and was rewarded with a very loud gasp. Not to mention a handful of quivering Mephisto. "A horny bastard? Guilty as charged."

Smirking at my own joke, I hefted the taller male over my shoulder while rubbing the spot underneath my hand with my palm while cupping his luscious ass.

He squirmed, mewling at my ministrations. "Shi-Shirou!~" Grabbing onto my pants leg, the skinny yet tall demon kicked his legs in the air protesting, "Let me-let me down!"

Petting him still, I quipped, "You are always so stubborn until I mess with your tail and ass. Then you turn into a lewd mess. Come on, stop kicking. Besides, when you say "No." I know that you really mean _yes_."

I felt my skin being pricked by sharp claws and risked a look backwards while I walked to Mephisto's extra-luxurious bed. The glowing green glare directed at my head was formidable.

If one didn't liken it to a wet kittens hiss. Which was just adorable. And Mephisto—who was in all actuality a dog—was just that. The blush heating his cheeks while absolutely delectable, didn't change that fact.

At the moment.

Cute or not, Devil spawn of the highest order is always something Exorcist's should be cautious of no matter the time of day or the situation. Especially when they were pissed.

Too bad I never really got that part of the job description down.

"Aww, stop your growling." I dumped him onto the bed unceremoniously while it billowed up, nearly swallowing him and before he could move away, crawled on top of him. "I know you want it, _remember_? Sammy-Sam~"

Mephisto gave me a disgusted look before he folded his arms in front of him and looked away. "Call me that horrible nick-name one more time and I'll make sure that you never get laid ever again."

I just snickered, playing with my demon lovers' shorter lock again with the hand that I wasn't using to prop my arm up. "Really?" I slowly slid a finger against his cheek, teasingly, seductively.

Distractingly.

He frowned, and batted my hand away. Shying away, he attempted to scoot out from under me hissing, "Yes. Now get off, I was serious when I said I didn't want to catch a cold from you."

I stopped him from moving further away by threading my fingers into his hair and leaning down I whispered into his lips, "Sorry Sammy-Sam, but tonight...tonight you are going to play by _my_ rules."

Then I dipped my tongue into his open mouth.

At once he tugged my hair but not in the playful way, nope, he wanted me off and he wanted me off that second. He was such a clean freak when it came to germs he didn't even joke around like he normally did when I tried to pull something.

Another tug, this one more forceful ripped at my scalp but I didn't grant his request, instead I let go of his hair and entwined our hands together so he couldn't "poof" me or himself away with a single snap of his fingers. Not that he couldn't find a way out of this if he really wanted to. Which meant he was letting me go this far. _Pff~ Licentious bastard, like I didn't already know that he gets off on this_.

He was—he had been—the pervert and the teaser when this first started. Then I started fighting back and the title of molester shifted to me. Not that that particularly bothered me. I loved taking that cheeky, scheming clown and laying him open, vulnerable to my hands. He wasn't exactly what you call an easy lay. But he wasn't fragile either.

And I wasn't the gentle type to begin with.

I deepened the kiss, biting his lips without paying any attention to his fangs. Our tongues clashed wetly, saliva coating our lips and mouths hungrily moving against each other.

_You are such a liar, Mephisto._ I smirked into the kiss. _Your body and instincts are saying yes while you are saying no. _Slowly maneuvering his hands till they rested at his sides I pressed further before nipping his tongue. Disconnecting from the lip-lock suddenly, I flipped him onto his stomach while pinning his hands behind his back with one hand.

Which he wasn't too happy about. "Shirou! What-?!"

I sneered, quickly tugging my belt out of my pants' belt-loops. It took me only a few seconds to wrap it around his wrists and tighten it.

A few seconds I barely had.

"Let go!" Mephisto realized immediately what I was doing and tugged at my hands which were busy holding his down at the small of his back while he squirmed.

I gave him a firm swat on the ass which made him flinch and chuckled, "Calm down, or I'll go grab my other belt and give you a real spanking."

He glared at me from where his face was pressed into the bed but the expression on his face along with the droop of his elfin-ears told me he was listening. _"Shirou..."_

Normally when I hear Mephisto's dangerous tone I push him further, bantering and teasing him till he almost snaps.

I didn't divert from that tradition and did the exact same right at the moment, hoping to rile him up. Tightening the belt some more, I closed it shut not giving any thought to the red tinge on his wrists that was already beginning to form and hit his ass again. "Bad boy."

His eye twitched and growling he snapped, "Release me this moment Shirou."

I simply grinned. "Or what?"

The glowing green eyes of his sent chills down my spine and I knew I was going to face his wrath later. His lips twisted into a snarl. "Or I'll see to it _you_ get tied up. I believe Amaimon was quite keen on paying you back for that _incident_ with the hand-cuffs."

Smirking, I placed a hand underneath his chin lifting it up. "Hmm, I'll think I'll pass. But also, I think you would look good with a blindfold. Maybe a gag while I'm at it too..."

His eyes widened and then narrowed while he renewed his struggling underneath me.

"Don't you dare!"

Chuckling, my hand left his face to dig into my left pocket. I pulled out a red and black-striped tie and dangled it in front of his face.

Pink spread further till it coated even the bridge of his nose a delicate, rose-tinted shade. "Shirou, I am warning you-"

My eyes narrowed and I looped the silk tie around his head covering his eyes. "Don't worry, I'll show you a good time. _Promise_."

I couldn't help but snicker afterwards, ruining the image of my sincerity.

"Take it off!"

I decided against the gag—for the moment—and using both hands lifted his hips, propping him up on his knees so I could undo his violet-colored obi. Removing the koshi-himo underneath I set them both aside. _Never know when I might need them…_

Mephisto shivered when I let his yukata fall open, his tail moving underneath the fabric in panic. "Shirou~ You better stop..."

With a smug grin I rubbed my right hand down his back, over the curve of his ass, to the back of his thigh till I reached the hem of his yukata. "Just enjoy this. Relax for once."

I didn't waste any time in tugging it over and up to his waist. I did the same to his sleeves leaving the cloth to bunch up around his bound hands.

He wiggled and his short purple tail followed his movements wagging furiously when it was exposed. "Don't wanna~ Untie me Shirou!"

I ignored his whining and spanked him again. It made a nice "thwack" sound and his beautiful, firm behind absorbed the blow. "Ah!"

He whimpered into the bedding and his tail wagged faster. "Stop hitting me you-you _brute!_"

I fondled his ass and licked a stripe across his ass. I sunk my tongue into the cleft and licked downwards. "No, but if you keep begging in such a pretty voice I might just skip preparing you and fuck ya raw. Besides, your tail is saying you feel different. Just spread your legs and take it like the bitch you are."

My tongue met his entrance and I licked it slowly causing him to mewl at the abrupt sensation of something wet assaulting his most sensitive of places.

I hadn't meant to sound so rude—I mean I wasn't the nicest guy around but I normally didn't walk around cussing people out, unless they were a _certain_ Demon King—but there was just something about Mephisto-no, Samael that brought out the feral side of me.

Maybe it was because we went together like oil and fire. Every time we met we exploded into roaring glory. It just felt right to rouse him into a flurry. To get bogged down in our routine of insult, tease, hurt and bleed. A never ending cycle of taunts and near-misses.

Adrenaline had nothing on us.

Work as an Exorcist was a thrill, it had pulled me out of my hum-drum human life and into the fire.

Meeting, greeting, messing around with Samael, a demon, the _King of Time_... Forget about the frying pan. It felt like I was burning from the inside out.

_"Ahh~ Hnn-n-not there! Pervert!"_

My hand tightened on his skin and they slid down to his inner thighs before I yanked them apart while still lapping at his entry way. _Che, pot callin' the kettle black..._

"D-don't~"

They trembled and he tried to close them but I worked my left hand upward till I grabbed the base of his thick tail. Once I began rubbing where the skin and fur met they spread themselves with minimal resistance. With Mephisto's whimpering I was getting harder by the second.

I pushed my tongue inside of him and swirled it around listening to his muffled voice when he tried to smother his face in the bedding. I let my other hand reach for his partial erection and I wrapped my fingers around him tightly hoping to hear his wonderful lilting moans.

He groaned and his tail curled in on itself while I began sucking on him while teasing the head of his cock. Samael was large that was for sure but he always liked it when I fucked him into the mattress.

Not once had he ever asked—not that he would ask, he always just did what he wanted—to top except for the first time we ever did it. Some explanation about instinctual mating habits that I completely dismissed in favor of a good romp in bed the one time I bothered to ask.

When I deemed him stretched enough I stopped lapping at his entrance and with a tug on his member I pulled back to survey my handy work.

There before me Samael was spread wide, his creamy pale skin accenting his litheness. His long legs trembled in effort of keeping his ass in the air without the support of his arms. With his cheeks red, hands bound behind him with his face and shoulders buried into the sheets he was the epitome of sexy.

His tail swished rapidly in the air and his hardened cock dripped a few drops of pre-cum onto the sheets. A little bit of salvia trickled from his panting mouth as well. His sharp fangs gleamed despite the canopy above creating a shadow over the bed. "Hah~ Shirou?"

Ugh, then there was his voice. My pants were too tight even though I barely had them on to begin with.

Frowning, I tried to remember where I had last left the lube and moved off the bed to the pile of pillows on the floor. Rooting around underneath them I found what I was looking for while ignoring Samael's lust-addled inquiry to my whereabouts.

Pulling out the bottle labeled, _"Warming Lubricant"_ I shook it and found it was still half-full of the viscous liquid. A predatory smirk flitted across my face and I moved back to the bed.

"Shirou! You better have not left me here!"

I snickered particularly viciously and climbing back onto the bed tugged his tail a little. "I wouldn't dare~"

He bit his lip defiantly trying not to make a sound when I did and tried to smack me with his short, furry appendage. "Tease..."

I "tutted," grabbing the thing before it could knock my glasses off. "If your tail breaks my glasses I'm holding you responsible."

Licking his lips, he growled, "If I get a cold I'm going to skin you alive."

I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me and huffed, "That's what you said when I fucked you in that hotel elevator during that black-out two months ago and you never followed through. Now, if you're going to whine I really will leave ya here. Right after I get you all hot and bothered, ready to cum and then I'll cock-block ya, ok?"

He visibly shuddered at my words and his tail wagged faster. "You're right I never did..."

Then he snickered like the mischievous demon he was despite his position, "But those missions I sent you on earlier sent you through the ringer didn't they? How's that Hobgoblin bite?~"

I froze and my mouth dropped. This! This guy! When the full implications fell on me I grit my teeth. "Really now? I should of known, you damn demon."

He giggled and wagged his tail at me mockingly. "Ohhh, now I'm damned? A little late for that~"

My eye twitched and I stroked his tail calmly with my thumb while leaning over his shoulder to lick his ear with a malicious grin. "You won't be laughing for long. Not after I fuck you with your own tail."

True to my words he stiffened. "Wait? _**What?!**_"

I raised his tail to his behind and rubbed the small, silky tuff right into his entrance. I enjoyed the way he jolted, his tail trying to escape my hand.

"Don't! Nngh~ Shi-Shirou?!"

I pushed it further, applying a teasing force while grabbing a hold of his slim hip to pull him back into my fingers while they pushed it inside of him. "But~ Sam~ I'm just giving you what you want~"

He grit his teeth, chocking when I finally got the tip all the way inside of him. "Gahh~ I don't-don't want this! Take i-it out! It hurts!~"

I almost laughed but when I saw the tear fall down his cheek I pouted. Sighing, I pulled it out and heard the relieved sigh from its owner. Rubbing my chin thoughtfully, I examined the slightly damp tip.

It visibly twitched and another grin reached my lips and I cackled, "Oh? I'm not letting you off the hook just yet~"

He tensed underneath me and tugged at the belt holding his hands. "Let go of m-my tail!"

I gave him a smack on the thigh before reaching for the bottle of lube. I could barely contain the demented laugh boiling up in my throat while I popped the cap of it and felt him start to tremble. "Don't worry~ I'll make sure to get your tail all nice and slick. This warming lube outa also help you relax more.~"

He stiffened and then squeaked, "I thought I threw that away?!"

Tipping the bottle over, I squeezed it till a nice, thick glob poured out right onto his fur. "You did. I snatched it back before it could be lost in the black hole that is the stomach of Mr. Panda. Then I hid it under your pillows."

He wiggled, hissing at the contact of the cold semi-gelatinous liquid when it touched his sensitive fur. And also at what I had just divulged. "You what?! You dug it out of the trash?!"

"Yep, and put it right under your clean pillows."

There was times when I exploded in sheer rage at Samael. Like earlier. There was times when he did the same. Like when I messed with his otaku merchandise.

The most dangerous times though, were when he imploded.

Like right this minute.

His tail drooped and he slumped into himself.

It became silent and I knew that the rain-cloud wasn't just brewing. It was fixing to hit category five, super-storm status.

_**"You...are despicable."**_

If I didn't have fangs, pointed ears or a tail I would be damned. "Yep~"

"Shi...rou..."

"Yes?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You going to threaten me yet? Or should I give ya a few more minutes to plot my demise?"

Then the insane laughter began.

I scooted back a little and scowled. "What?"

He hiccupped and warned, "Oh, I'm not going to kill you Shirou-pon~ You are far too good for that. You better watch your back."

I raised an eyebrow and joked, "Right~ Why don't you save that excitement for the main event?" Then I began rubbing the lube into his fur around his tip.

He yelped, arching his back further and with clenched teeth groaned, "Mngh~"

The heady aroma of arousal and Samael's animal-like musk already pervaded the room. The peppermint scent of the lube joined that and made me want to hurry up. I was as hard as a rock already.

Once his tip was fully soaked I smothered the left over lube onto the rest of his tail and a little on his thighs.

He shivered from the feeling of the cold liquid seeping into his skin when it started to warm up like it was suppose to. "Nnn~ Fuji~"

I saw his thighs clench and smiled at my bound demon while pressing the tip of his tail to his ass again. "Aww, why don't you say Shirou-sama instead?"

"Go t-to hell..."

I smirked like Satan and sneered, "After you, m'lady~"

Then I shoved his tail inside of his entrance watching the way he sank further into bed while his knees slipped further from each other. "Ahh~ Shi- Nnn-ro-ugh!"

His tail spasmed sharply and I watched fascinated while his opening clenched around it helplessly. It was practically the width of three of my fingers and by the way Samael was biting his lip and clenching his hands it must have felt unimaginable.

My cock pulsed at the sight and I could take it no longer. "You have no idea what you do to me Samael..." I wrapped my fingers through my belt loops and tugged them down further on my hips till my length popped out, hard and willing to get some action.

Leaning over him, I rubbed my thumbs into his hip-bones while rubbing my member into his backside. "Having...fun?"

He let out a stifled gasp and bit the bedding in an attempt to silence the raunchy moans falling from his lips.

I scrunched my nose in distaste and with my right hand worked more of his tail into him.

His teeth let go of the sheets and he mewled, no doubt at the feeling of having his wiggling tail inside of him. "Hngh~ Hah-hah~"

"You like that don't ya? Ha~" I narrowed my eyes and grumbled while pushing against his already stretched entrance, "Your tail is really sensitive... Does it feel better than having my cock inside of ya?"

He writhed, yelping out, "Nahh-no~"

I bit my lip and rubbed harder against him. "Sure about that? Has it found your prostate yet?"

The shake and shiver of his entire body told me yes, yes it had and he was living in paradise at the moment. "Shirouuuu~"

"Che, don't you dare cum before I'm through with you bastard..."

I wrapped a hand around his head, playing with the pre-cum dribbling out while keeping him from cumming if he suddenly reached completion. "Don't worry, I'll give you all you need."

With a tug, the tie covering his eyes fell to the bed with a whisper and his eyes fluttered open revealing the gorgeous emerald irises of his.

Tears stained his eyelashes and the sides of his eyes while he panted erotically. Lust swirled in his clouded irises and he licked his lips when he settled them on me.

I grinned while bending over to lick his tear-stained cheek.

He pouted, crimson blood turning the pale skin of his a wonderful pinkish-red. "I-" He shut his eyes when I rubbed my member harder between his butt cheeks. "Ah~ Shirou~ Please I-"

Nuzzling his face, I kissed it over and over again till I heard a strangled purr escape his throat. "Mah, your too cute when your needy."

He directed a half-hearted glare towards me but I only patted his hair, trailing my fingers through the soft, amethyst strands before I pulled away.

"Nnn~ Shirou?"

Smiling, I rubbed the length of his spine causing him to arch his back. At my limit I reached for the lube and flinching, spread some across my cock. Deciding I had done enough, I wiped my lube-smeared hand on the bed cover and retrieved the final part of my plan and with a flip and a click of the button it was done.

Of course, the flash of my phone's camera didn't go unnoticed by my target.

Peeking at him while putting my cell phone away I observed the shocked, then outraged, then finally mortified expression that settled on his face.

"Y-You-"

I raised an eyebrow. "Shirou got your tongue?"

His face went a nice cross shade of hot pink and violet while he spluttered past the fog hazing his already rattled mind.

Sneering, I gave him one last kiss on the lips before I grabbed his hip with one hand while on my knees and pushed my hard cock all the way inside of his already stretched entrance.

He screamed, writhing in pleasure while I slid into the hilt.

I hissed at the tight feel of his canal and bit my lip when his tail thrashed alongside my length while I made sure to keep him from cumming with my other. _Maybe...this wasn't such a good idea..._

I tightened my grip on his hip most definitely leaving bruises while I adjusted to the mind-blowing feeling of being squeezed so roughly. "Dammit! Relax, your just hurting yourself!"

All I got in response was a hiccup and a few curses in what I could only describe as a guttural, animal-like language.

"No...hah, need to resort to cussing. Aren't cha suppose to be nnn-royalty?"

After a few seconds of feeling like my cock was in a vise, the pressure lessened while he relaxed but it was still tight enough of a fit to feel absolutely amazing. "Sweet mother of-"

Feeling him tighten back up again I halted the rest of that sentence. "Come on! Don't play like that!"

He relaxed again and bit out, "Just-nngh...move!"

I grimaced, but experimentally slipped half-way out. "For the love of all that's holy..." Pushing back in I almost suffered an aneurysm just from the sheer pleasure of the act. "One of these days Samael I swear you're going to kill me during sex."

That growled comment seemed to hit its mark and the violet-haired demon relaxed a little bit more. "Yo-you wish, priest."

I began to pick up the pace with a leer dancing across my features. Removing the hand around his member I grabbed both of his hips and slammed myself into him. "Oh, so I've been...downgraded to a lowly priest now, eh?"

The demon Exorcist in his own right snickered before moaning wantonly in delight, "Uhha, Shirou~ Give me more..and I might just promote you~"

I would have said it was impossible for me to be any harder but I felt those words right in my groin. The creak of the bed mingling with the slap of flesh meeting flesh made me move faster and I scowled, "So now...you want to play? Maybe I should rile you like this...more often, hn?"

Mewling, Samael wasted no time in trying to make me cum. He pushed back against me, meeting my thrusts and let his tail move in and out as well in time with every push.

It felt like a volcano was rumbling in my veins, lava seeping out into my skin. I pulled the clasp of the belt till it unwound itself from his raw wrists, falling to the bed with a "clink."

He sighed softly in relief at the feeling of having his hands free and with the rustle of silk pooling around his arms he giggled, "Such a beast~"

I smirked and pulled him up from the position I had forced him into earlier. Flipping him around while still inside of him I kissed him deeply while lifting his long legs over my shoulders, his yukata barely covering anything.

Gasping in surprise, he wrapped his arms around my neck and rocked back against me, tail and all.

The lush feeling of his silky walls clamping down on me was too much in the end.  
Fiercely our tongues battled while he shook and clamped down around me till he broke the lip-lock and panted, "I-I'm Shirou!~"

I felt him orgasm, his walls spasming along with his tail, his body curling around me like I was the only solid object in the world.

The white, cloudy liquid splattered his chest and he rolled his head back baring his throat with a sexy moan.

Meeting my end as well I licked his exposed jugular before biting down on his Adams' apple. I buried myself deep inside of him and came, hard.

We both trembled and gasped, feeling every inch of each other like someone would like a live wire.

When the blur of white shifted and disappeared from my line of vision I let go his neck, licking the small dots of blood that weld up from where my teeth had punctured the skin.

Groaning lazily, Samael cracked open his eyes letting his hands fall to the bed from where he had them crossed behind my neck. He croaked, "Never..._ever_, again."

I sneered, enjoying his whining. It meant I had won this round. "Come on now, it wasn't that bad. Else you would have already chewed me out."

He glowered at me and with a claw-tipped hand grabbed my nose. "Maybe I haven't yet since _I. Can't. Move!_"

I blinked, glasses falling down slightly in disbelief. Then a shit-eating grin plastered itself onto my face. "Ohhh~ Has the big, bad, Demon King finally been defeated?"

"Not. Another. Word."

I stuck my tongue out at the fuming imp of a lover and traced the almost healed skin of his right hand lovingly. "Ya know you liked it."

He tried to hit me but I caught his other hand and kissed the top of it along with each finger. "M'lady sure was wailing loud enough for half of Tokyo to hear ya~ Who knew your tail was that sensitive~"

He huffed and yanking his hand away folded his arms in front of him. "Urusai!"

Smirking, I pulled out of him, his tail following.

Samael squirmed and his tail barely twitched in response. He made a disgusted face when he saw his tail covered in my cum. "Never again."

I raised my hands in surrender when he pinned me with a death glare—level, seventh circle of Gehenna. "Sure~"

I turned around yanking a cigarette out of my pocket to light. "Look at it this way, if you kill me I'll just leave that photo of you at the crime scene."

He gaped and belying what he said earlier, moved forward faster then he should have been able to and wrapped his hands around throat. _"Y-you! Delete it!"_

**~Owari~**

* * *

_**You thought it was over?**_

* * *

**~Omake~**

[Mephisto]

I held my claws up to Shirou's jugular and snarled, "You better erase it!"

He sighed and rolled his eyes while biting down on the unlit cigarette he held in his teeth. "If I do will ya give me back my damn lighter?"

I growled low in my throat, "Yes~ Now do it!"

He continued clicking through his photo's till he reached the one he had sneakily taken of me. "Look, I'm deleting it, I'm deleting-..." He froze and blinked. "Whoops."

My heart plummeted. "Whoops? Whoops what?!"

He turned around, a sheepish grin on his lips that made me want to smack him.

"I think I just sent it to your little brother..."

* * *

_I had to._

_*Troll Face*_

_Now, if you liked that I might do a second chapter but as it is I'm placing this as complete, k?_

_If you please, comments would be nice but a simple fav, or follow would be fine as well._

_Tarry awhile. Thou art so fair. ~ Wild-Tama_

_P.S. If you read this SD just to let you know, I was imaging a thirty-four year old version of your Shirou..._


	2. Double Trouble

**As promised, even though it took me awhile...**

**Chapter Two-Double Trouble**

* * *

[Amaimon-Gehenna]

Marble floors spread out underneath my gaze. Dark cobalt with veins of silver and flecks of obsidian drifted in its stony embrace.

Why you ask was I staring at the floor? Well, in all reality it was the only place I could look without getting punished. Tou-san was big on subservience.

I could tell you the entire layout of the room without skipping a single minuscule detail but only because for centuries I had tried to find the perfect place to direct my gaze while within the throne room. After over eight and a half of them I had found kneeling was the only position in which I could take that would allow me to look at the floor without seeming defiant.

So I did. My report was not meant to be long—none of my reports were because I could not stand cow-towing to another for anyone for too long. On my hands and knees I continued speaking to the fiery figure lazily slouching upon his equally dark marble throne.

Yes, the floor and I were intimate acquaintances from all the times that I had made the presumption to leave before I was told to or whenever I mouthed off. My cheek-bones and nose had been smashed into the floor far too many times for my liking so I waited.

But I still found myself impatient to escape back to the confines of my bedroom and the safety of my hidden stash of sweets. A nap wouldn't hurt before Tou-san sent me on another mission or errand either.

Playing goffer between him and Aniue was exhausting with both of their constant mood swings. Spying on Aniue had been easier then imagined; Aniue already knew I was doing so and he just played along to avoid getting us both into trouble so everything was good there. But that didn't excuse the fact he had threatened to rip my tongue out if I tattled to Tou-san about a certain fling with that rude Exorcist.

I felt my hackles bristle at just the thought of that loud-mouthed, annoying human Aniue had latched onto. If he hadn't been a toy of Aniue he would already be thrice dead.

I dared not complain to either one of them about these missions so I kept quiet about my displeasure—but it was taking its toll, I could only handle so much abuse before having to vent and I was getting to that threshold quicker than what was healthy even for me.

Not that it would show on my face. I was stubborn, not stupid. My monotone expression rarely ever waved for such reasons. I rather avoid a hiding from Tou-san and another punishment from Aniue.

When the last syllable of my report fell from my lips I waited for Tou-san for to ask for further detail or dismiss me but to my consternation the silence of the throne room swallowed my voice and stretched itself past its normal limits. I forced myself to not hold my breath. It would be noticed and seen as assign of weakness. And Tou-san did not abide weakness in his children. He absolutely loved it when we faltered and took every pleasure in making sure it didn't happen again. Such was the sadism of Tou-san.

_Best not provoke him…_

I lay unmoving in front of his throne for minutes on end. Nothing but the smooth crackle of fire and the engulfing silence met my sharp hearing and I readied myself for whatever action Tou-san would see fit to act on.

He was a bit mad after all.

Then again insanity amongst demons was hardly outside the norm.

At last the silence was shattered by the sound of rustling fabric. It was faint but the clack of shoes stepping across the floor was unmistakable and I told myself to remain relaxed less I earn myself a kick in the head.

I knew that when the sound faded and the glow of fire reflected ever stronger on the shiny floor I gazed at that Tou-san was standing right next to me.

I said nothing and repressed the urge to shudder as a clawed hand wrapped around my chin jerking it up gently. I hated it when he was gentle. It always hurt worse later then when he was being intentionally cruel. Tou-san didn't have a gentle piece of soul in his metaphysical body. He wasn't the god of Gehenna because he was _kind._

"My, my what a lovely face you are making my son. Too bad I can see ya bittin' yer lip. What have I told you about scaring them?"

I hadn't even realized that I had bit it. I was too used to chewing on things to notice I had done so. I slowly blinked, eyes forced to look at the pools of swirling blue and red like a blood-soaked whirlpool Ani Egyn loved to make all the time in the area human's called the "Bermuda Triangle" that danced with malice and madness.

His inky-blue claws bit into my skin drawing beads of blood to the surface of my pale flesh.

I didn't dare move. You didn't try to escape Tou-san if he was talking to you. Ever. If his flames were turning your very blood into vapor and skin to parchment you didn't move an inch or make a peep. It just wasn't done.

Once more I was somewhat surprised to find that his flames didn't burn. They had long ago but now I was far more resilient to resist their hungry tongues that made things burst into flame with just a simple lick.

White tendrils of hair fluttered around my own verdant locks as Tou-san leaned forward and lapped at the blood pearling across my closed lips.

I refused to be caught off guard even then so I kept my eyes open staring blankly into his own mocking ones.

He pulled away smacking his lips obscenely and yanked his head away as if he wished to have slapped me instead.

I glanced back down knowing my place. Even if I put a toe out of line here and there I always tried to keep from angering him or Aniue too much, I never knew when they would deem me expendable.

Plus, it was fun to play a little cat and mouse. If only I didn't have to pretend that I didn't enjoy getting caught.

I heard footsteps away from me and knew that I would soon be dismissed. Tou-san would ground my face into the floor usually if he was displeased with one of my reports.

Considering that a little groveling at his feet instead of being tossed around till dragged to his bedroom was a nice change in pace I stayed silent and obedient till I heard him huff, "Well? What are ya still doing here! Scram you stupid brat! Unless you want a spanking?!"

Realizing that I was to get out I gracefully stumbled to my feet and bowing deeply bid Tou-san goodnight and made my way to the doors—not running but not loafing around either.

And I would have made it too. If only I had remembered to turn off my cellphone. I would soon come to despise the golden contraption that Aniue had thrown at my head a few years back.

As it was, I froze with my hand outreached to grab the door handle. For a few seconds I could only hope my ears had been wrong and that I hadn't heard the "ding" that accompanied the arrival of an email to the accursed device.

But alas as I blinked in slowly dawning horror hoping that it was just my imagination that I had heard, the silence of the room became still.

Tou-san had heard it too.

My toes curled and I resumed my faltered dash to freedom, wrapping my hand around the handle of the large throne doors.

It was not to be for I heard a very audible and dangerous "snap" and the doors locked themselves with an ominous "clu-chunk."

"Amaimon…"

If I had disliked that Exorcist at the moment then I surely hated him forever afterwards.

* * *

If you want to have another one-shot added just ask. I'm quite fond of this.

Review if you please.

Tarry a while. Thou art so fair. ~ Wild-Tama

P.S. Poor Amaimon...


End file.
